- Who & Why?
Category Archive for: ‘Force’
Just the other day I was forcing an issue with my husband. We were at a restaurant ordering lunch. Being a typical woman, I wanted him to “share” a burger and a salad with me instead of us both ordering a burger. It’s my attempt to be healthier and still eat what I love (a burger!). I kept suggesting it to my husband…. Over and over again. I wanted him to do what I wanted him to do. Free will was lost. So, he pushed back and we both got burgers.
Sound familiar? It should. Stuff like this happens so often.
What if I had just stopped and chosen to see the situation differently? Instead of “suggesting/forcing” my views on my husband, what if I had “allowed” the situation to be and allowed whatever was going to happen, to happen?
I guarantee you the end result would have been different.
Maybe we still would have ended up ordering burgers, but I wouldn’t have let myself down and expended so much negative energy pushing and shoving my will on my husband. I could have been happier in that moment.
Successful brands don’t force anything – on themselves or on others.
Anytime we force anything, we have active resistance around anything in our lives,. Then there is tension. Tension even shows up when we are “achieving” or “earning”.
Tension amps up our stress. Our stress amps up other peoples’ stress. Then people don’t want to be around us anymore, much less hire us, buy from us, promote us, date us. You name it. The game is over.
Instead, successful brands recognize that allowing life to happen sets everyone up for more success. Allowing life to happen, allows us to “be” with ease and grace. Ease and grace is the only way to let your brand shine and get us to stop, notice you and gravitate naturally to you.
What does this mean for you? Stop and consider:
- How often do you force your way and will in life? Next time, stop and have self-awareness: is it really working for you? Be honest with yourself.
- What if you stopped trying to “achieve” or “earn” and just “allowed”, instead?
- What would your life be like if you just “allowed” yourself and others to be? Where can you make subtle adjustments to allow more and force less?
Call or email me to discuss this strategy in your brand and life.
One of my clients mentioned the other day that in her line of work ,whenever a client disagrees with her decisions or course of action for the client, my client feels like she wants to avoid what seems like oncoming conflict. It’s hard for us to face conflict. Often times, for most of us differing opinions makes us uncomfortable enough to want to run and hide.
I used to be one of those people that could not stand it if someone I cared about would raise their voice or disagree with me. It always felt like I was in a boxing match. My best defense: I would exit stage left and just disappear. Looking back now, it was pretty funny. Who just up and leaves the room like that? Not exactly a strong personal brand.
Most of us believe if we are in careers that call for conflict/negotiation, then we must be really good at confrontation. That’s not necessarily the case. Look at me for example: I was a lawyer, yet I was never fond of conflict.
It wasn’t until I recognized that confrontation does not mean conflict that I was able to stop leaving the room whenever a conversation got “awkward” and uncomfortable. As a result, my brand grew stronger as others saw me as a self-confident person who stuck around.
We often get confrontation and conflict, which leads to possible aggression, confused. Here’s how I define it:
If we can confront a situation, that’s power. There’s creativity in differing opinions. That’s a good thing. Confronting a situation means be brave, stand firm, yet kind and address the issue for the greater good. That’s a powerful brand that is effective and attractive.
If we can’t confront a situation, then we often default to aggression using force. As Werner Erhard states, “force negates power”. Never is aggression backed up by force an attractive brand value. No one respects forceful brands. No one wants to follow forceful brands. No one wants to buy from forceful brands. It can’t work.
So stop and think to yourself:
– how is your ability to confront a situation? Do you flee or stand firm?
– can you start looking at confrontation as a natural part of life based on differing opinions that could result in varied approaches to business and life?
– when do you resort to aggression and force to get your way, as a brand? Being self-aware is the first step in developing a successful, deliberate personal brand.