- Who & Why?
Category Archive for: ‘Attraction’
Just the other day I was forcing an issue with my husband. We were at a restaurant ordering lunch. Being a typical woman, I wanted him to “share” a burger and a salad with me instead of us both ordering a burger. It’s my attempt to be healthier and still eat what I love (a burger!). I kept suggesting it to my husband…. Over and over again. I wanted him to do what I wanted him to do. Free will was lost. So, he pushed back and we both got burgers.
Sound familiar? It should. Stuff like this happens so often.
What if I had just stopped and chosen to see the situation differently? Instead of “suggesting/forcing” my views on my husband, what if I had “allowed” the situation to be and allowed whatever was going to happen, to happen?
I guarantee you the end result would have been different.
Maybe we still would have ended up ordering burgers, but I wouldn’t have let myself down and expended so much negative energy pushing and shoving my will on my husband. I could have been happier in that moment.
Successful brands don’t force anything – on themselves or on others.
Anytime we force anything, we have active resistance around anything in our lives,. Then there is tension. Tension even shows up when we are “achieving” or “earning”.
Tension amps up our stress. Our stress amps up other peoples’ stress. Then people don’t want to be around us anymore, much less hire us, buy from us, promote us, date us. You name it. The game is over.
Instead, successful brands recognize that allowing life to happen sets everyone up for more success. Allowing life to happen, allows us to “be” with ease and grace. Ease and grace is the only way to let your brand shine and get us to stop, notice you and gravitate naturally to you.
What does this mean for you? Stop and consider:
- How often do you force your way and will in life? Next time, stop and have self-awareness: is it really working for you? Be honest with yourself.
- What if you stopped trying to “achieve” or “earn” and just “allowed”, instead?
- What would your life be like if you just “allowed” yourself and others to be? Where can you make subtle adjustments to allow more and force less?
Call or email me to discuss this strategy in your brand and life.
Collaborating over the years with various artists on their individual brand development, I have seen a very familiar- and somewhat sad- pattern.
Musicians are brilliant people- generous, creative, exciting, excited, eager and fun.
Yet, there are two camps. First, there’s the group with hang-ups around their art.
The biggest issue is the subconscious belief that they have to be poor. Maybe it’s the belief that to be a true artist, you have to be poor- like a darvish. Whatever the reason, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy often. Although not many artists will say it aloud (because it’s not conscious), the thought that holds them back is, “we’ll never get paid”.
Then there’s the second camp of musicians and artists. Those established and financially successful one who do get paid and do make money- lots and lots and lots of money. These successful artists very consciously see their art and music more through the framework of “how do I best run a business”. This mentality is smart and effective….if not taken to an extreme. What do I mean?
Well so often for “financially successful” artists, the money becomes TOO much of a motivator- at the expense of their true art and gift and talents. The art becomes more like a business, money-making machine. The result? The artist forgets their real passion and purpose and drive and joy in creating music and art.
So what if I told you there is a happy medium- that there must be a happy medium that works towards the highest good?
My goal is to change how the music industry, and each artist, sees their value and contribution as an artist. It can’t all be about the money, despite what our commercialized world tells us. But then again, an artist can’t pay his rent without money either.
So what’s the happy medium? In my expertise developing sincere and successful artists’ individual brands, it comes down to one word: harmony.
I’m talking the kind of harmony where each artist recognizes their brand is about an ebb and flow. The harmony of running a successful business and knowing you deserve to get paid- that you must get paid for your beautiful art. Yet, also a harmony in never forgetting who you really are, what your music and art represents and staying focused and true to your reason and message as an artist.
What does that look like? It looks like a full house at your next gig where the audience is exactly who you want to play for- those with whom you resonate best, those for whom you wrote your music, those who get you and appreciate you and your artistry. The audience is filled with those who make you happy and allow you to express yourself in a way that is natural and meant to be.
So what does this mean for you? Stop and ask yourself:
-Are you creating value? All the way from your set content (lighting, wardrobing/visual branding, and your scarcity model (how often you play: weekly, quarterly- how long each set is).
– Are you still feeling self-expressed or does it seem like the business has run away from you?
Have you ever had those days when you felt less-than attractive? You know what I’m talking about. I’ve had many of those days. It’s not just about bad hair, but bad everything. Or is it?
In developing your brand, we always look at the notion of attraction. Attractive people have attractive brands. And I’m not talking about looking like a super-model. What exactly do I mean by “attraction”?
Here’s how Merriam-Webster defines, “attraction” in part:
- personal charm:
- the action or power of drawing forth a response :
- a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation:
Personal charm may sound fluffy and crazy, but not really. I’m not asking you to go to charm school. Think of all the people you like, and have, as your colleagues. How many of them would you say you found “charming” and drew you to them?
The definition even includes a scientific component involving particles and matter. Why? Because there is true science to the law of having a brand that attracts. When your brand has attraction, it’s as if there is a certain undeniable “force” pulling others to you and keeping them mesmerized by you. And I’m talking about in the business setting.
I remember when I went from being a lawyer to running a personal branding company. That was over eight years ago. I was in utter shock at how people would flock to listen to what I had to say. ME! The same person who as a lawyer drew nowhere near that many followers and fans. Over time, I learned it really was this “force” that made my brand work.
The last part of the definition is about appealing to peoples’ desires and tastes. If this wasn’t true, the products industry, including Coke, Starbucks and Zappos, would be bankrupt. Effective personal brands understand that we are emotional beings and operate by being emotionally drawn to other people and their brands. This attraction happens by knowing what I like (my tastes) and what I want (my desires).
I remember my days of practicing law. I never ever consciously focused on anything other than being a good securities lawyer. If you would have told me to work on my brand, focus on emotions and being more emotionally attractive, I would have thought you were crazy. Back then, there was no focus on these concepts, sadly.
What was true, though, was that I naturally operated this way. I liked my clients and colleagues and enjoyed interacting outside of the substantive work. Operating this way as a lawyer got me seen, heard and promoted regularly.
I realize the hard part here- as professionals, we do our substantive work and believe that is all that it takes to be seen and heard as a great brand. After all, we’re professionals with thriving careers. We are not experts on how to win over others with our charm.
Nothing is further from the truth. I think in order to gauge our attractiveness as a brand, we need to take the entire definition above into account.
Stop and think for yourself- how could your brand have more attraction power:
- How “charming” are you? Where can you do better? If you have no idea, be self-aware of how your brand goes over.
- Does your brand have power to elicit a positive response from others? How can you be better? Consider each and every meeting a practice ground.
- Are you irresistible and draw people in? What’s one thing you can do to be different in this regard? Remember, slow and steady wins the game.
- Are you aware of others desires and tastes? Do you take others into account at work? If not, how can you be better?