- Who & Why?
Monthly Archive for: ‘June, 2017’
Let’s face it. We all have moments when we “hate” or “strongly dislike” someone or something. I suppose we can call it a natural human tendency.
Why does it really happen? I think it is because we tend to not like ourselves in those moments. Instead of hating/disliking ourselves though, we tend to project our hate/dislike on others. I call this mis-directed self-hate.
You know what I’m talking about. You have a bad day at work because you dropped the ball on a project and missed a deadline. Your boss called you on it. Now you are mad and hurt. You are really mad at yourself for missing the deadline. It’s way easier to blame your boss for being “mean” to you. How dare your boss call you on your mistake! That’s not nice. Besides, it really wasn’t your fault. One of your colleagues kept talking to you while you were trying to work. That’s why you missed the deadline. So it is your colleague’s fault and your boss’ fault. Not yours. That’s why you are mad at your boss and colleague.
Here’s what happens if we don’t catch ourselves though, and keep mis-directing our self-hate. It will come back to haunt us. How? We start to show up as “cranky” and mean a lot in our life. Pretty soon everyone is the victim of our mis-directed self-hate. People start running away from us at that point. That’s a bad brand for us.
I tend to believe this mis-directed self-hate is a habit, and way of thinking, that we choose. So we can always choose to see things differently, if we want it enough and have enough self-awareness to know when it is happening for us.
So what does this mean for you? Be brave and ask yourself:
- where in your life do you mis-direct your own self-hate/dislike towards others?
- How often does this happen?
- What’s the impact of this behavior on your brand? Do others like you for it? Be honest.
- How can you be more self-aware that it is happening and choose differently?
I was most recently blessed enough to travel to Alaska for work. About 18 years ago, I visited Alaska on a cruise. So I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I was in for again.
Boy, was I wrong.
They say that the world looks different for each individual based on where we each are currently in our lives. I totally believe this theory.
Alaska was an experience I will forever remember. I often run out of words to describe Alaska. The best I can do is to say that seeing Alaska was magnificent, majestic and awe-inspiring. My soul was singing. Words do it so little justice.
I’m even comparing Alaska to other parts of the world I’ve seen, like the Swiss and Austrian Alps and Prague and Vienna and Italy. Nothing compares, in my book, to the peace and grace Alaska’s scenic charm has to shower on a person.
It may be that compared to my last Alaska trip 18 years ago, I’ve changed careers and started to see the world very differently. I have a newfound appreciation for the simplicity and grandeur of life and nature. I’ve come to realize that nothing has to be complicated unless I choose to make it complicated. I’ve come to appreciate how much more alike we are as humans, choosing to let go of the negative thoughts that separate me from others. Life is good. Life can be magnificent, if I let it be.
Choosing to see the world from this perspective allows me to authentically live my brand- to project my values and my business and my career goals out to the world. The result is clear. The more authentic I am, the stronger my brand. The stronger my brand, the more I can be a contribution to others. The more I’m a contribution to others, the more successful my company becomes.
All of this is simple and yet not so easy to “be” and “do”.
So what does this mean for you? You don’t have to travel to Alaska necessarily. To enhance and evolve your brand for more success, just ask yourself:
- Where is the place that brings you peace and lets your soul sing? Go there as often as possible. Do it intentionally.
- How can you choose to see your world, and those in your world, differently?
- Where can you appreciate the simplicity of things in your life? Step back and look at what you make complicated in your life. How can you choose to see it differently?